make love, not war

so this past weekend was great. we had a post-session for a "marriage retreat" we attended in february. it was the third session of eight. he had been gone all day at a class for an insurance license and met me at the post-session.

the post was great. we heard some stories, shared some things. at one point he shared that the thing that is holding him back the most is forgiveness. particularly, forgiving himself for what he's done. i think it's incredible that what i've said all along is truly the thing that is holding him back. and it's nice to know that the process is starting. maybe the prayers are working??

we talked during the post on how to work together to have a plan for our home, our daily activities, responsibilities around the house and with the kids. it was a great conversation. it goes back to that horrible night where we fought for an hour and a half in our dark bedroom. that night i realized that his complaints were not about laundry and dirty floors, but about how i like to play before (or is that instead of??) work. and how my time is so overcommitted to so many things that i don't pay attention to the things within our household that need to be attended to. like CLICK! i finally got it!

we went home after the post and spent time together on the internet building and re-building his laptop computer for his new career path (the job is another story altogether...). we applied different coupons and discounts to try to get the best deal. and discussed over and over again whether or not to buy it yet. (we waited)

then we finally retired to our bedroom at 12:30 a.m. (then add the hour for the time change). we laid in bed and watched t.v. and visited some more and started to fall asleep in each other's arms. and then he made love to me. it had been nearly three weeks. i let him take control of the whole thing because i knew he was the one that had not felt "that way" for a while. it was wonderful just to connect again.

and in the morning when he left for his second day of classes, he kissed me goodbye.