give me one reason...
it blew up again last night. it wasn't the disk drive or the college fees or the laundry this time... at least not per se. it was everything. or nothing. it was midnight when i got home after a long night at work and a quick stop for pie and tea with my mom and an out-of-town cousin.
he was awake and not happy with me.
"give me one reason to not file for a divorce tomorrow."
great. back here again. roller coasters are fun at the amusement park, but not at home. we had a great late monday evening, a great thursday night. it's been downhill since.
he wanted to know when he gets to be happy. when does he get to come first.
as i sat there thinking to myself... when have you not been first???
but i told him, "go."
an hour and a half later, we were still talking, blaming, yelling, silencing our heartbreak, and feing hurt. i was tired. it was time to go to bed. i had enough.
what will today bring? not sure. i'm tired of the roller coaster.
and the one reason is me.
posted by samantha alexander @ 7:55 AM
7 Comments:
Sam - thanks for sharing your story with our group. I sent them a reply to the email you sent but took your name off, for obvious reasons. I told them to come here and support you and read your story. You will always find support and love with us, and you know that.
Your hubby KNOWS, he KNOWS you are the reason not to file...he's being selfish, and if he does leave, he'll find himself unhappy and without the love of his life...and his children.
Hey girl - you know we are here for you. It was a couragous step to take in sharing and I think you know we are here for you whatever happens. Let me know if you need a word of encouragement or a shoulder to cry on. I'm here for you.
Susan
Sam - You know more than anything else that we are all here for you no matter what you need - a shoulder or an extra bedroom for you and your children - we are always here to be a touchstone for you.
I'm so sorry that this is happening, but you are a wonderful woman and an amazing mom and if he can't see that.....we always can.
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Sweetie, I just want you to know that we love you. No matter what is going on in your house right now, no matter how hard things get, no matter what you or he decide to do you are loved.
I know it's a tough road and I applaud you for sticking through these hard times and at least trying to make it work. I believe you need to fight for what you believe in.
I would highly suggest couples therapy, and if he won't attend with you attend by yourself. That perspective has helped many others and if you're going to fight for it you may as well do everything you can.
Please remember above all that we are always here for you and the boys.
Samantha,
What a courageous person you are. You and your family will be in my prayers...
Charley
Sam, What you are doing is courageous. We are all here for you. Thank you for sharing your story with us. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love and hugs,
Lisa
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