the best man

my husband's brother got married recently. and my husband was the best man. and as you know, the primary responsibility of the best man, besides throwing one hell of a bachelor party and making sure that the groom gets to the wedding on time and sober, is to give the toast to the new couple. so how do you look your brother, sister-in-law, and entire family in the eye (let alone your wife!) and make a speech about staying together forever through the good times and bad? well, my husband did a bang-up job of it. now the names have been removed to protect, well, everyone. but here it is:

'first let me take a moment to thank all of you for joining the bride and groom on their very special occasion. it means a lot to them to have all of you here to share this very special day with them.

what can i say about my brother. i first met him when he moved in one day when i was about 2. i thought the little noise machine was some kind of house guest or visitor but my mom said we had to keep him. suddenly i had to share my mom and dad and thus began the competition. it is a competition that has included swimming, fighting, girls, and according to mom and dad, a lot of bickering. it's a load of baloney because we grew up as perfect angels.

i know it is very hard to believe but that very healthy rivalry exists even today. but it is that rivalry that given my brother his drive. that is why he is here today, his desire to win, to be the best and to succeed in every aspect of his life. to be the best person he can be, the best father, and finally, to be the best husband. it's about time!

his wife is a wonderful woman. she is very patient and looks at the bright side of life. she must because otherwise there is no way she would be taking on the extremely daunting task of handling my brother for the rest of her life. she, and the rest of her family, are very welcome additions to our family. they are very special people and we are looking forward to many wonderful years together. now finally someone else can look out for my brother. all i have to say is, thank you, thank you , thank you.

since being together, they have had a special love hate relationship. it is full of sparks and fire. but they are both competitive and driven to succeed and that is why we are here celebrating today. they have fought for each other, run towards each other, occasionally hit each other but have chosen each other to make their relationship work. today they complete that task to be a family.

everyone please raise your glass to the bride and groom and their family. love each other, fight for each other, run toward each other and choose each other every day for the rest of your lives!"

now isn't that beautiful? picture the perfect pauses, smirks, and intonations. he did a remarkable job. i was bawling my eyes out while he gave the speech. my husband and i talked later during a dance (which he grabbed me and whipped me onto the dance floor! yay!). i told him how proud i was of him and what a wonderful job he did in writing it. he said it was hard to keep all of our crap out of it, but that the last sentence was all of our crap. i think that's wonderful.

while he was preparing the speech, he asked if i had any thoughts. so i slammed out a quick speech that included things like choosing each other. so i see that i had input. my brother in law and his new bride made a baby together almost five years ago and have been "duking it out" ever since (stay together, break up, get back, make up, break up, move in, move out, you name it). conversations i had with my mother in law seemed to include her desire that her youngest son be with someone he was in love with.

after all of this, i have come to this conclusion... you should not be hoping to meet the person you will be "in love" with for the rest of your life. you should be looking for the person you want to fight to keep for the rest of your life, the one you want to choose every day for the rest of your life. that's what it really is about.