i'm so tired...
he's home. it's a bit after 1 p.m. he passed his exam. he's still being an asshole. asked him what his district manager said. he said not much. asked him how it went. he said it took longer than he thought it would and he was second guessing himself alot. i asked if he received his score. he said no that they only give scores to those who don't pass. asked him what his plans were for the rest of the day. he said he didn't know and why. said just wanted to know if i should be making dinner, etc. he said don't make dinner on my account. i asked if i should include him when i make dinner. he said no. i said okay. i left the room. i don't deserve this. i'm tired. when can i give up and have it be okay??
posted by samantha alexander @ 1:31 PM
3 Comments:
Sam - you can give up whenever you want, if that's what you really want to do...but from all I know of you, you WANT this marriage to work - you have loved him for so long and have 2 amazing children with him - you can't just say "all done" and be happy with it.
Problem is that HE doesn't seem to want what you want. Girl - I wish I could be there to give you a big hug and just let you unburden yourself on me. Been there, done that (but didn't have kids to add to the sitch) and in the end, it works as it needs to.
keep at it, if you want it. God will bring you through whatever you choose.
Sam,
I have been religiously checking this site since your last post...I kept waiting to hear good news and I am so sad for you. Hugs and prayers...and Sam, if you still love him and still want him, keep fighting...
Charley
I think you just keep going and fighting until YOU feel done. When you have exhausted every attempt, when he isn't trying any more and you've given up trying for the both of you, when you feel like you can't possibly give any more than you are and it's still not working, when you feel like you can't fight any more, then let it go. I know you want to stay for your family but isn't it better for them to be in 2 stable, happier households than one in chaos? I know you want to stay for the love that you've shared but love has to shared by 2 people. Hang in there as long as you can, as long as you have hope. But when hope is gone it's OK to let go.
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